Moving Ahead

I need to do this. Create this blog that is. There are ¬†blogs which focus on¬†parenting special needs adults but I figured I’d add myself among them.

My sweet son (whom I will refer to as A.) will be 23 in a few months. Diagnosed with that ever-present catch-all PDD NOS as a little guy, it became clear an Asperger’s diagnosis fit more accurately.

A. attended a specialized school throughout high school then proceeded to a district life and job skills program for three years. He currently lives at home with us and continues in another skills-for-daily-living program. Not much has changed in terms of him growing skill-wise. I see my expectations and hopes for him must rise ever so slowly. Planning (and worrying with good reason) for his future is an exercise in patience and boy, am I in short supply of that these days.

I’ll work on that.

A.’s rigidity–one hallmark of his diagnosis–is a continuous issue. When it comes to facts on topics he’s interested in, he follows logic thoroughly and is quite the intellectual. He resorts to illogical discussion when he fears his little thought-construct is being challenged.

This isn’t new information. What is new for me though is my son’s emerging adulthood. There’s much that’s clearly different than a typical 23 year old life. A.’s emotional and maturity level will likely continue to fall short of his peers.

Thankfully, A. is able to stay on his own during the day, cook, bake and walk to local places such as the library and pharmacy. I’m uncomfortable having him cross a busy intersection or walk home in the dark. I fear for his vulnerability and his lack of ability in knowing what to do in case of an emergency. We won’t leave him overnight on his own. We still must remind him to pay attention to the life skill of personal hygiene. He disagrees on the frequency of showering. I try to gently steer him past his comfort zone.

I know I’m past mine.

X, S

 

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Moving Ahead

  1. Thanks for starting this blog and sharing your story. My daughter H is 17, so I’m just getting my feet wet with what the future holds longterm. And all the legal stuff at age 18. And what the heck happens when they age out of school at age 21! I must admit to feeling overwhelmed. I can also completely relate to losing patience. It can be so challenging and anxiety-provoking parenting a child with special needs! Especially as they get older.

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    • Thanks so much Debbie! Your interest is much appreciated. I live in NJ so we receive a budget from the agency to use for programs. Not enough for what I’d like to have him in but we keep on plugging. Thanks again!

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  2. Thanks for starting this important conversation. I have a 30 yo daughter R who is in residential setting for almost 2 yrs (dx autism) and 2 young adults with Aspergers at home. We are starting paperwork to get state benefits for them. Also working on out of housing plans which will be challenging on the small budget they will get from the state if they qualify. Both are very bright and articulate but have the usual Aspy things such as episodes of brain fog, poor executive function, and mood problems. We applied for the newest United Way housing opening soon in Ft Lee but they weren’t a good fit for several reasons. Also, no pet policy which was a deal breaker for my daughter who is joined by the hip to her cat. We have learned to keep focusing on the big picture while taking one baby step at a time.

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